Gotcha Day!

Exactly one year ago today Chase Cristian Raber was placed in our arms to be our forever child. As I type this...I remember the flight to Guatemala and how our emotions were running rampant. We were so excited that after a year and a half of waiting, we were bringing our son home...on the other hand we had a 5 month old son that we had to leave at home in order to get to this point. And to complicate things, I couldn't stop thinking about how our foster mother was going to feel when she had to give him to us, never to see him again. It was so heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. I knew that he had been loved and well cared for and nothing could be more comforting than that. I also knew that he was going to be scared.

We had prepared ourselves as best as we knew how...so we thought...but nothing could prepare us for that first day and night...and the immediate days to follow. To say Chase cried would be a gross understatement. He weeped and wailed, calling for his ma ma, begging to go to her...wandering around our hotel room aimlessly...searching behind doors for her...at one point, he grabbed ahold of his baby bag (from her) and starting dragging it to the room door. He was horrified of us. And there was nothing we could do to console him...so we sat on the floor near him and cried too. It was incredibly painful to experience his inconsolible grief with him.

Little by little, day by day, his pain (and ours) started to melt away. Those first few months were so very difficult as we all learned how to be a family and trust one another. It's hard for me to look back and dredge up all these feelings, but it is who we are. We are so much better as a family for having endured the storm. The love we have for our children is totally amazing. I think we finally understand what it means to love completely and unconditionally.

It's definitely a challenge everyday raising two toddler boys, but we wouldn't have it any other way. I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Never did I imagine that I would have such a wonderful loving husband and that I would get to be a mommy to such precious children. They make me want to be a better person...

Thank you LORD for giving me the most amazing life here on this earth. It's so hard to imagine that it could ever be better, but You have promised that it is! Thank you for teaching me to trust.

Sept. 2006 - Visit Trip
Chase with Diana Rosmery (Foster Mom)

Daddy with Chase on Visit Trip

Mommy and Chase (Peyton's there too...in mommy's belly).

July 29th, 2007

July 29th

Embassy Day...we're almost done!

First day alone with Mommy (no baby Peyton).

Chase's welcome home party...meeting some Guatemalan friends.

Our happy baby Chase...